If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
splinters make it hard to masturbate
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
