im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
