My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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