I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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