i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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