never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
