Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize