I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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