I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize