If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
