it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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