I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
