I think I died a long time ago.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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