Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
