Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
