I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
