hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
