Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
