GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
