You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
