he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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