He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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