driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
