Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
