Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
