ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
