This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
