I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's never too late to be topless.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
