I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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