OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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