I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
