she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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