It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
