Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
