shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
