i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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