He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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