Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
