The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
