I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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