Pregnant stripper...not hot.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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