so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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