can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
