Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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