What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
