I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Say something about gay babies.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
