How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize