my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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