Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
