Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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