he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
