I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
