Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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