Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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