You're so nebulous sometimes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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